My name is Nikole, I'm 15...I wrote this...yeah umm, tell me what you think :)<3
My hands were in my jacket, I was trying to keep them warm. I was leaning against the tree. It was about 3pm and it was freezing, I could see my breath. It was so cold. Everyone was shivering and had red noses. I thought it was funny. I saw him from a distance. Oh my, my heart just fucking took a mad ass leap. He’s so gorgeous. I find comfort in his eyes. His smile is disarming. I have it bad. He was talking with his friends… he turned around and looked at me. I melted. He turned away quickly and continued talking with his friend. He shot a second glance at me, this time it was longer and he gave me what looked like a smile. I got weak in the knees. I think I smiled back. I turned around quickly and to my surprise, my friend Jenny was there.
“Can you be anymore obvious dumbass!?”
“Shut up ho”
“Look at you, you’re drooling!”
“Am not”, I said wiping my chin, just to make sure.
“Why don’t you just go talk to him?”, she asked looking at him.
“Stop staring, you’re making it obvious!”
“Oh please, I can’t be anymore obvious than you.”, she said with a smirk on her face
“I’ll introduce him to you”
“You don’t even know him dork!”, I yelled
He turned around and looked at us both with a confused expression. I guess we were being kind of loud. I guess he was pretty close to us. I felt my face get red so I turned away. Jenny was looking at him. It was like they were having a staring contest. I turned around to see if they were still staring each other. He moved his eyes from Jenny to mine. I didn’t know what to do. I stared back. His friend would fix his eyes on Jenny, then me, then on him. He looked frustrated and confused. His friend mumbled something to him. He smiled at me then walked away with his friend. Jenny looked happy she had a smile straight across her face. What a dumbass.
“That was fun”, she said with a giggle.
“You’re so stupid, I can’t believe that just happened, why was he staring at us? He must think I’m weird, or like his stalker or“-
“Dude chill, you see how he was looking at you? Wooo, I think he likes you!”
“Shut up, you’re so annoying.
“You’ll thank me later”, she said with a confidence.
I rolled my eyes at her. Her mom came. Me and Jenny carpool together. Her mom asked how our day was and Jenny told her she got kicked out of class because she threw a book at the teacher. Jenny’s mom said that was nice. Her mom got use to Jenny’s constant lies. One time Jenny told her mom she was sent to the office because she inappropriately touched her lab partner. Jenny’s mom freaked and called the school, even when Jenny told her she was kidding. I thought it was funny. Jenny’s mom dropped me off at my house and Jenny told me to call so we could talk about stuff.
“Wink, Wink”, she added.
I giggled. Jenny’s mom looked at me with a grin. Jenny’s so stupid. She’s my best friend.
I called Jenny later that night. All she talked about was about how her boyfriend was inconsiderate and was probably cheating on her. He wouldn’t do that. He’s really sweet, Jenny takes advantage of him. Jenny can be quite dramatic sometimes and jumps into conclusions. Jenny has her sensitive side also, but when she finds herself caring she’ll usually stop and tell herself she doesn’t care and throw in a whatever to reassure herself. After she frustrated herself by talking about her boyfriend she brought Him up.
“So are you like planning on ever talking to him or are you two idiots just going to stare at each other like today?”
“Dude, shut up.”
“Don’t get all butt-hurt I’m just wondering, you seem to like him a lot…I think he likes you too?”
“Really?! No, I don’t care, whatever.”
Such a Jenny move. There was an awkward silence. For about a second.
“So, like do you think I should break up with Kyle, because I mean c’mon its been like two whole weeks and I’m just not feeling it anymore, to be honest I’m kinda getting bored. Besides Chris told Karen that Ben told Sam that Tyler thinks I’m cute!”
Jenny said this all in one breath. She gasped for air and kept rambling on and on for about an hour. I told her I had to go do my homework and she said that she also had to go. She needed to go write Kyle an e-mail explaining how she just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and she needed time to focus on her academics.
The next day at school I tried to avoid him. Usually after school he hangs out by that one building with his friends. I like going there because sometimes his friends and him play they’re guitar and sing. That’s also where Jenny’s mom picks us up. It all works out. I didn’t want to go there today, I wanted to avoid another awkward staring contest, not that I mind his staring at his eyes. I could stare at them forever. I hung around by the lockers with Sam and Kyle. Kyle was asking me if he did something wrong with Jenny. Jenny came and said hi to all of us, even Kyle, I’m sure it made Kyle feel even worse than if she hadn’t said hi to him. She told me her mom was waiting so we should get going. When we got to the building he was there, sitting against the wall playing his guitar. His hair was so perfect. It perfectly fell just above his eyes, and it perfectly curled up on the sides and the back. His eyes were looking all over the place as he was playing. It’s weird, but I’ve noticed his hands, his hands are big and strong, yet seem so gentle. He looked up at me. I panicked. I turned around and pretended like I hadn’t been staring at him for the past ten minutes.
“I thought you said your mom was already here waiting for us”, I told Jenny, trying to get a glance at him from the corner of my eye.
“Yeah, I thought she was, oh well, hey lets go talk to him.”
“Bitch! You knew you’re mom wasn’t here!”
“No, I really thought she was, well kind of. Oh c’mon lets go talk to him.”
“No! you go talk to him”, I snapped back.
“Fine. I will“, she said.
She skipped over and sat right next to him. He stopped playing his guitar and looked at her. I saw her shake his gentle strong hands. She probably introduced herself. One thing I admire about her is that she is really straight forward and isn’t shy about anything, I wish I could be like that. They were talking for a while, then Jenny points her stupid ass finger at me and he looks over and waves. I wanted to throw a rock at Jenny. They both stood up and Jenny called me over.
“Hey, come here, I want to introduce you to someone”, she yelled with a smile on her face.
He was staring at me, expecting me to move. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Just then I hear a honk and I turn over, it was Jenny’s mom. I turned to look at Jenny, she seemed disappointed. She told him something and hugged him goodbye, like if she had known him all her life and they were really good friends. He laughed and waves goodbye at her, then waves at me with a crooked smile on his face. I got inside the car and sat there with my scarlet face and my heart pounding. I should have waved back, smiled back, gone over and introduced myself. I’m so stupid. Jenny sat up in the front closed the door and turned around to look at me.
“You’re so stupid.”
She was right. I am stupid. I was so embarrassed. I waited for Jenny’s mom on the other side of the sidewalk. Id rather not talk to him or see him at all than to have to go through all that awkwardness. One day Jenny didn’t come to school. I had to wait for my brother to pick me up. My brother is always late. That idiot, doesn’t he know it‘s like flipping freezing out here? Dumb ass. I waited where I have been waiting for Jenny’s mom the last couple of days. Kyle was there. We started talking. He asked how Jenny was doing and said he really missed her. Poor Kyle. He asked me to walk with him and I did, we ended up at the other side of the parking lot. Kyle asked me to sit down. I looked around, he wasn’t there, so I sat down. We sat down against the wall and continued to talk. I’d glance around every now and then to make sure he wasn’t there. We talked for what seemed like forever. It was really cold, I found my self shivering. Kyle noticed too . He took out a sweater from his backpack and we used it as a blanket. He scoot over closer to me. He held me. I looked at him
“Relax, body heat”, he said with a chuckle.
“Damn it, I thought you were trying to make a pass at me”, I replied.
After a while I stopped looking for him. I was having too much fun talking to Kyle. Jenny was stupid for dumping him. He’s so perfect. Probably the nicest guy I know.
“Sorry about going on and on about Jenny earlier.”
“Really, it’s ok.”
“So…who do you like?” He asked with a grin on his face. I didn’t like that grin.
“Yeah…?”, he asked again, he seemed interested.
I looked up and there he was. I quickly looked down. I didn’t think it was obvious. Kyle looked at him, then at me. He smiled. I guess it was kind of obvious.
I shook my head just a tad too quickly. Kyle had a smirk on his face.
“I have him for geometry, he’s a pretty cool kid.”
I looked at Kyle then at him, then I just stared at my shoes for a while. I could sense Kyle’s eyes looking at me. His phone rang. It was his mom, she was waiting for him at the other side of the parking lot. We both stood up.
“Well I better get going before she freaks out. Bye hon.”
He gave me a kiss on the cheek, a hug and a wink. I laughed hugged him back and gave him two winks in respond. He knew I was kidding, just like I knew he was. Kyle is my best guy friend. I’ve known him since forever. Kyle and I went out our freshman year, it didn’t work out. We’re better off as friends, that what we agreed on.
I sat back down and leaned against the wall. I knew he was still around somewhere close, I didn’t want to look up and see where. So I pretended to be busy instead. I scrambled through my backpack pretending like I was looking for something. My attention was now on some idiot seniors who were ganging up on a poor freshman. They’re so immature. I stopped paying attention to them because that’s the last thing they deserve and I looked ahead. He was coming my way. Oh, flipping my! What do I do? What do I say? Do I stand up? Stay sitting down? I’ll stand up, yeah. My thinking wasn’t quick enough. I reached for my bag and right there were a pair of shoes. I looked up and there he was.
“mind if I sit here?”
I think I shook my head. He giggled and sat down.
“I know you name”, I said. Im sucha dumbass, if he wanted to tell me his name I should have let him.
“ooh.” , he said, with a smile.
“umm…my name is”-
“I know your name” he intruded. We both laughed.
“So, was that your boyfriend you were sitting with?”
“Kyle? No, no…Kyle’s my best friend.” I managed to say.
“Ooh, I thought Jenny was you best friend”, he laughed.
“Jenny…yes, she unfortunately is also my best friend.“ We both laughed.
I wasn’t cold anymore, I felt warm all over. I had a stupid ass grin across my face the whole damn conversation. After the first few minutes it wasn’t so frightening talking to him. I actually felt comfortable. Like I talked to him all the time. I couldn’t help but to get lost in his eyes every time he said something to me. My brother got there about 3 hours after he should have. I love it that he’s late all the time. We both stoop up and I reached down to get my bag, I lost my balance and fell forward.
“whoa, you ok”
“umm, yea, sorry”
I looked up and there he was so close to me I could hear him blink. He smiled. I melted. My brother honked. He leaned back and put his hands on his pockets. I picked up my bag and smiled at him.
“bye, take care”
He waved. I know I waved back and turned around to walk to my brothers car.
I turned around.
“I’ll see ya around?”
“yeah!”. He laughed, I must have sounded like such a dork.
I walked away, feeling like I could run for miles and miles. I got in the car instead. My brother stared at me.
“whos that kid?” he asked.
We talked ever day after school that whole week. Jenny said she was proud of me for not being a wuss, like I usually am. I took it as a compliment. One day after school me and Jenny went there like we did everyday. She went to go flirt with the football team. I sat down, and he and sat next to me, we talked, like we have been all week.
“This time of year is really beautiful”, he whispered in my ear.
“Yeah, it is”, I said.
He stared at me. I stared back. He moved in closer. My heart panicked. His lips touched mine in the sweetest possible way. Our lips were cold and shivering at first. As they pressed against each other they found the warmth and comfort to keep going. We both moved back and stared at each other, all I could do was smile.
“Oh, my god! You slut!”, Jenny yelled when I told her.
“ How was it?! Did you see fireworks”, she asked sarcastically, yet seriously.
“It was…ok.” I told her.
“OK?! Just ok? This is the guy you’ve been drooling over and you finally talk to him and kiss him and it was ok!?”
“I don’t know…I guess my hopes were too high or something, I thought it’d be different”, I tried to explain.
She rolled her eyes.
The truth was, I didn’t feel anything for him. I always thought that kissing him would drive me up a wall or something. It did nothing, except make me realize that I liked him, as a friend. Unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way.
“I like you…a lot”, he confessed one afternoon.
I smiled. He kissed me. I kissed him back.
The words I had been waiting and dreamed about finally came out and I felt nothing but guilt. I felt terrible. I led him on, made him think I liked him. Which I did, it’s funny how things work out.
I talked to Kyle that night. It was nice talking to him. Since I had been spending all of my afternoons with him, I hadn’t talked to Kyle in what seemed like forever.
“I saw you today, I was going to say hi but you were busy swapping spit with pretty boy.” He laughed.
“Shut up. We weren’t swapping spit. grosss”
“Well you were swapping something! So what’s the deal, are you guys going out”, he asked.
“No..” I told him, feeling like a complete slut.
“So what, you guys are like make out buddies or something? Fun.”
His voice was no longer in a friendly, kidding around tone anymore. He seemed upset, mad even.
Why was HE mad? What was it to him anyway? I guess he was just looking out for me and I got it. I was going to tell him I didn’t like him. The next day I went to the building by the parking lot, he was already there. I sat next to him and we talked.
“So, are you going to the fall ball this Friday?”
“I was thinking…maybe we could, you and I..”
“umm, wait, we have to talk.” I told him as I stared to the eyes I once couldn’t take my eyes off. Now, I couldn’t stand looking at them anymore, I looked away.
“ The thing is… well you see…”, I tried to find the words, but they just couldn’t come out the way I wanted them to. So I decided to be forward like Jenny and just say it. That’s what it did. “ The thing is…I don’t like you. I mean I like you, but in a friendly way. Not like-”
“Oh.” He looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“I get it, I just thought you, I mean Jenny told me that you-”
“I did! I did like you, but…I’m so sorry, I never thought you liked me and then all this happened and” I took a deep breathe.
He put on a smile, it was one of those smiles you put on after you fall, the ones were you pretend it didn’t hurt and you laugh it off, but it did hurt.
“yeah…thanks for being honest, I get it. I’ll see ya around.” He reached in his pocket and got out his keys.
“You have a car? I thought you would wait here to get picked up”
“Nah, I have a car, I’d come over here after school to talk to you.”
He smiled, then turned around walked towards the parking lot. I stood there, feeling like the biggest bitch in the world.
“You did what?!” Jenny yelled at me.
“I know…I know.”
“So, you don’t like him right?” She asked.
I shook my head
“You mind if I give him a try?”
“You’re the slut!” I yelled at her laughing. “Go for it.”
“Thanks! He’s so cute! I’m going to go find him, poor kid he must be crushed…and vulnerable.” She winked at me.
I rolled my eyes at her. She went to go look for him, to give him the comfort he needed. Yeah, that’s Jenny…she worries me sometimes.
I walked around school to clear my mind. I ended up at the football field. I laid on the middle of field on my back. The sky was cloudy and it was cold as hell. I started thinking about everything. Kyle came into mind. I felt my heart beat faster and realized I had a smile on my face. Kyle? Why Kyle? He was just my friend…
I sat up and turned around, it was Kyle. He was in his soccer uniform, and had his head phones around his neck. He looked exhausted. Suddenly, about 100 different emotions rushed all over my body. What was happening?
“What are you doing here?” he asked, now standing next to me and looking down.
“Thinking”, I told him, studying his face.
I noticed his eyes, I noticed his lips. How they pouted and seemed so soft and warm. I thought about how I had never kissed Kyle, not even when we were going out.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked, with his crooked smile. I noticed how he had dimples and how pretty his smile was. I’m such a sucker for that.
“Not at all”, I replied, tugging on his sleeve. He sat down.
He apologized about how he acted on the phone. I explained he had a point and that I had ended things with him.
“oh.” he said, staring at me. His eyes were burning me. I couldn’t help but stare back.
“What are you listening to”, I asked.
“Ooh, here”, he said handing me the head phones. I took them and tried to put the ear pieces inside my ear. I was shaking. It wasn’t because I was cold anymorem, I was nervous, excited even.
Kyle smiled. “Here, let me help you.” he said, holding both the ear pieces and my hand. We both froze. We gazed into each others eyes. His hands were now on the sides of my face. We dropped the ear phones, they were on my shoulders. The music was loud enough for me to make out which song it was. I noticed it was the Straylight Run song, Existentialism on prom night, it was the last song from the cd I made him while we were going out. It was perfect. And so here he was holding me... We seemed to move in closer. He closed his eyes, I did the same. I felt him pulling me in. Right before we moved in closer I felt a cold small drop of water gently splash on my face. I moved back. We opened our eyes and looked up. It was raining, it kept getting more and more intense. By the time I moved me eyes from the sky to Kyle he was soaked. His hair was pressed down on his face and drops of water rolled off his face. We smiled and moved closer. His lips softly touched mine. As our lips pressed together I felt this sensation grow inside of me. We kissed the rain drops on each others lips and after some time we managed to pull our lips apart, I was out of breath. He kissed my forehead and put his arm around my shoulder, I put my head on his. We sat there in each others arms, under the cloudy sky with drops of water surrounding us. I don’t remember when the song stopped playing, but it was ok, we made our own music. <3